@MikeCanRant: Thanks History Channel for letting me know that this scene showing General Custer at the Battle of Little Bighorn is a dramatization.
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@joe_binkley: Her: Make your own Pizza Rolls. Me: It says: Not to operate heavy machinery while using this medication. Her: It's an oven not a forklift.
@_knuck_: *wife & I finally look up from our phones after 9 months* "Have you had the kid yet?" -No "Well, I'm level 77 on candy crush."
@T_Bonezzz: *Hunts and Kills Winnie the Pooh *Hunts and Kills Pepé Le Pew *Cooks both in stew *Serves Pooh Pew Platter