@gorrdano: Thanks, I wrote the tweet. There's no need to reiterate it back to me with quotation marks.
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@ericsshadow: Cop: license and registration. Me: I don't carry my drivers license so I don't lose it. Cop: where is it? Me: I have absolutely no idea.
@truegritrumble: ME:John's coming over for dinner. WIFE:Work John or Been to Europe John? JOHN:*from outside* This door reminds me of one I saw in England.
@SequelsWeWant: Back to the Future IV: Marty Mcfly stops being obsessed with his own family and goes back in time to kill Hitler.