@Quartzjixler: Thanks, meeting venue that turns off the AC in the restrooms--I love emerging from taking a dump looking like I just ran a marathon!
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@Easy_Tiger__: Girls are like puppies. If you don't take them out enough, they'll poop on your rug. SERIOUSLY ASHLEY ON MY RUG??
@Jeffwni: - "I love Beyoncé... - Whatever floats your boat dude. - No, you're thinking of 'buoyancy'. - …"
@simoncholland: Listen, if you are going to someone's house for Thanksgiving, compliment their baseboards. That is what they are spending today cleaning.
@Parkerlawyer: 6, holding a pic of me pregnant with him, "Why are you SO FAT?" Me, "You're inside my tummy." 6, "That's DISGUSTING." Me, "It gets worse.."