@T_Bonezzz: Thanks, motion sensor restroom sinks, I only wanted to wash my hands for 0.0000251 seconds anyway
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@SortaBadass: When Kate Middleton goes into labor, the doctor will say "the baby is crowning!" and they'll laugh and laugh
@treydayway: I get accused of hating white people many times on here. That's not true, some of my favorite shirts are white.
@daemonic3: [pharmacy] "I'd like a refill for this bottle of pills" PHARMACIST: Would you like childproof? "No thanks, I already believe in children"