@rivetingbonmots: Thanks, spell check, that's what I meant: Edgar Allen Pie.
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@XLCadillac: My two levels of drunk are 1) dancing with fat chicks at the club 2) smashing my neighbor's window thinking I locked myself out of my house.
@BadJordon: Ruin a hipster's day by telling them how commercial you think their favorite band has become.
@Emonalisha: If you piss me off in the grocery store I will get in line in front of you and pay for a single banana with a personal check
@dadofbieber: If one ex was drowning and the other was dangling from a cliff-edge and you had one set of ropes to save them....where would you hide it?