@rivetingbonmots: Thanks, spell check, that's what I meant: Edgar Allen Pie.
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@KalvinMacleod: VILLIAN: all this money is mine BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he’s getting away VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?
@KyleMcDowell86: HER: Im breaking up with u ME: Is it because I say "Uh Oh Spaghetti O's" when things go wrong? HER: Ya ME:(under breath) Uh Oh Spaghetti O's
@Rollinintheseat: [blind date] Him: "I'm a big Beethoven fan." ME *trying to impress him* "Saint Bernards are my favorite dog breed."
@TheCareBare: "Baby last night you were so hot, let's do it all over again this morning." -me, speaking to this leftover pizza.