@trevso_electric: Thanks to ChristianMingle, I met the woman I will put through a terrifying emotional rollercoaster before I finally come out of the closet.
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@BuckyIsotope: The rest of the Justice League always makes Aquaman eat at Long John Silvers so they can watch him cry.
@causticbob: Burglars broke into Kanye West's home. As a result, 500 statues of Kanye West are missing.
@dlockw21: I saw a bald eagle carry away a bunny rabbit today, and I was like, "well, at least somebody gets to be held."
@aparnapkin: Friendship: because I've said many dumb things & you acted like they were TED talks