@TheFearBoners: Thanks to home security commercials, I am now terrified of middle aged white men.
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@SamDeLanche: Good to know that if they ever release a lion in Walmart you only have to run faster than the fat lady with the zebra print pants on.
@peachesanscream: Women who say getting married was the best day of their life have obviously never had 2 Kitkats fall out of a vending machine by mistake.
@AsgardianRose: Every kiss begins with 'K' I whisper quietly to myself as I read his one letter response to my last 7 text messages.