@abhorrent_wife: Thanks to Target's full length 3 way mirrors, I'm now painfully aware I look like a melting candle from the back.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@FillWerrell: If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest damnit! KNEES TO CHEST
@GingerHotDish: *Throws up some gang signs* *stabs self in eye with salad fork* Hubs: Next time you do the Macarena, put your fork down.
@twylaredsun: Sending a second cup of coffee down to check on the first one to see why it's not doing its job
@ericsshadow: Every year my wife buys me Christmas gifts I didn't ask for. Why would I need this many books about foreplay?