@KoKeniSasquatch: Thanks to this face I've been forced to work on my personality and wit for decades.
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@Brampersandon_: INTERVIEWER: what do you consider your greatest strength ME: ... INTERVIEWER: ... ME (38 minutes later): I'd say promptness
@WheelTod: Boss: I need that report by noon Me: Consider it done [2pm] Boss: Where's that report? Me: Huh? I thought we'd agreed to consider it done?
@PellMull: Everyone is unique. Except you. You are not unique. You are the only not unique person in human history.
@imskytrash: me (under my breath): don't let her know how awkward you are date: what are you having me: an ok time