@KoKeniSasquatch: Thanks to this face I've been forced to work on my personality and wit for decades.
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@Parentpains: Apparently, women only enjoy a nice romantic breakfast in bed when they know how you got in their house.
@Marlebean: Damn boy, are you leftover pizza in the fridge? Because I've been thinking about you all night...
@djdarrellripley: Her: A girl named "Bambi" called 6 times to see if you could go skinny dipping.. So, do you have a thing to say for yourself? Me: Can I go?
@KenJennings: If you're a vegan who ran a marathon & got your dogs from a shelter, how do you decide which thing to wedge into the conversation first?