@Pirate_nurse: Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked
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@Blonde4Dayz: The truck in front of me is hauling a fridge. Freezer just flew open and a chicken nugget hit my windshield. Day. Made.
@Chumpstring: [robber pulls gun] ME: take my money but please don't hurt me i'm an only child MY DAD: [yelling from the car] he's lying he has a brother