@Pirate_nurse: Thanks to this HUGE spider web I just walked into we can now add the neighbors to the list of people that have seen me naked
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@pharmasean: My sons kidnappers: if u ever want to see your son alive, press 1. Para Español marque dos Me: ugh i just want to speak to a real person
@jazmasta: They probably could have called lightbulbs, just "bulbs". Most people would still get it.
@Jade_VK: "I can't believe we're selling this house. So many memories. Man, if walls could talk..." WALL: "I saw you vacuum up your kid's hamster."