@gingerfaced: Thanks to Twitter, rock bottom now has a waiting list.
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@underchilde: Today we’ll be discussing near-death experiences and why not to talk to your girlfriend about weight gain.
@noog: *invents time machine* *goes to 1930 germany* *points guns at young hitler* What gives u the right to ruin a mustache style for everyone?
@Awesomemom10: Maybe if I answer the door naked the pizza delivery guy won't realize I paid with Monopoly money.