@johnalogue: Thanks to whoever invented the mute button, because I can poop while on a conference call.
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@realslimswamy: Arm wrestling is for guys who like to hold hands with other guys while staring into their eyes.
@_4kidscrazy: Me: Did you have a shirt on when you said it? Wife: I was naked, just out of the shower. Me: And you expected me to remember what you said?
@TheThryll: You can usually win any arm wrestling contest by simultaneously leaning in for a kiss.
@POTerritory: The only thing more predictable than the conspiracy theories is some people's inability to distinguish Indonesia from Malaysia. #AirAsia