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@daemonic3: "Thanks, you've been a wonderful host!"
@Shock_Monster: Him: Come check out my church!
Him: They play rock music!
Him: It's cool!
Me: Does it have church in it?
@sad_tree: oh so you rich guys throw the water out after you boil hotdogs. too good for hotdog soup. too good to dab the soup on your wrists like colog
@animaldrumss: To those out there who have accused me of selling out, of abandoning my beliefs and values to climb the social ladder: uh... yeah. yes.
@OhNoSheTwitnt: Twitter comedian: I'm the greatest tweeter alive!
Kanye: Even I don't want that title.
@TheToddWilliams: [Emergency Room]
MRS. PIÑATA: Will my husband make it, doc?
DOCTOR *slurping on sucker*: We'll do what we can but he's lost a lot of candy