@jwoodham: THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?
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@scubavelli: "Oh I'll be your relationship status alright..." -me sleeping outside this Taco Bell
@lynyrdsbackyard: Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus.
@OldFolkProblms: My favorite thing to do when my grandkids visit is to bake a big batch of fresh cookies. Then I eat them all by myself. Screw those kids.