@jwoodham: THANKSGIVING ICEBREAKERS: (1) Obama, am I right? (2) Ebola, am I right? (3) Was his full name Bugs Bunny or was he just a bunny named Bugs?
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@ImaFlyontheWall: *follows around a family of ducks in the park while playing Sandstorm on a boombox*
@weinerdog4life: The date was going great until she spooked me and then I squirted her with ink and quickly swam away
@Tommytoughstuff: [Meeting] *Gestures to pie chart* "Now as you can see this chart is not nearly as delicious as it sounds."