@TimDuffy: Thanksgiving is going to be hard this year because half my family dances to remember and the other half dances to forget.
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@davedittell: LAMP FOR SALE: gold, antique, good patina, evil genie, functions like new, you will be killed, shiny, polished, be careful what you wish for
@mynameisntdave: What if all DJs decided at once to stop using the infamous air horn sound effect and started using the sound of an old man climbing stairs?
@LinajkReturns: Talking with a 17 year-old who is 'living life with no regrets' reminds me of that time I got in a shouting match with a trout.
@MatCro: [GF comes home to find our son alone] Where are you? I said to watch him like a hawk! ME: [soaring 20m above w/ a beakful of mice] I AM