@KenJennings: Thanksgiving regret: no one at dinner wanted to talk about why the family members on TV's "Dinosaurs" were all different species of dinosaur
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@ddsmidt: Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
@LoriLuvsShoes: How many times can you celebrate a 29th birthday before people catch on? -asking for a friend
@Mr_Kapowski: Me: That does it! [bangs on upstairs neighbor's door] [Elephant on a pogo stick answers] Sup? Am I being too loud?
@hinnaz: Brazone : when a woman wants you to always support her, but gets rid of you the moment she is home and comfortable.