@BeamishBoi: That 0.1% of bacteria that no household product can kill is what will inherit our earth
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@GinGander: I watched her squeeze into the booth, finish 3 Egg McMuffins, & stand-up. "My knees are killing me, it must be the cold weather," she said.
@geekonursleeve: [table of 6 year olds in lab coats] How are we supposed to find a cure for cooties if we *bangs fist on table* CAN'T EVEN FIND WALDO?!
@Where__wolf: *covers kids eyes* "Hey Billy, guess who?" "Dad!" "Nope" "I knw its u dad. I know ur voice" "Its not ur dad" "Stop jking" "Ur adopted"
@JB4Realz: "Y'ever wonder why the TARDIS is square on the outside but round on the inside?" *SuperCuts lady finishes my haircut without another word*