@BeamishBoi: That 0.1% of bacteria that no household product can kill is what will inherit our earth
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@clarkekant: I can't stand it when people don't know the difference between your and you're. There so stupid.
@Book_Krazy: Me: I'm so excited! I just planted my first Azalea. Iggy: Help! Let me out of here! Me: Hush! Flowers don't talk silly.
@jordan_stratton: *makes eye contact with beautiful woman across fancy restaurant* Waiter, send that woman a glass of your finest Sprite.
@TravLeBlanc: I wanna write a tweet that is so good that I can retire and just live off the retweets for the rest of my life.