@LoveNLunchmeat: that awkward moment when a friend is complaining about their spouse, but you start to identify with the spouse
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@jakefromstfarm3: If you are farther than me in candy crush I will automatically think you are smarter than me.
@AndyAsAdjective: "I missed you today." "Awwww I missed you too." *both frantically reload dueling pistols*
@danielmarven: My GF found lipstick in my pocket, I admitted I'm cheating... I don't want her to know I'm selling AVON.. I want to eat my money in peace