@LoveNLunchmeat: that awkward moment when a friend is complaining about their spouse, but you start to identify with the spouse
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@pharmasean: Chris Pratt is my favorite actor whose name sounds like if a rodent fell in the McDonald's deep fryer
@Jay_FrickinLynn: Me: Hi Kid: M: Still? It's been a week K: YOUR FIRST INSTINCT DURING A CAR ACCIDENT WAS TO PROTECT YOUR PHONE! M: You didn't die. Calm down.
@Jayson_Two_time: Ummm yeah I want one of those phone case's where I can put my credit cards in with my phone so when I lose my phone I'm also broke. Genius!
@ch000ch: i've grown my mustache down over my mouth and all the other ventriloquists here are wondering why they never thought of that before