@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..
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@mortimermaiden: [humane society] Me: Hi, I'd like one medium sized dog please. Vet: That's not— Me: Oops, I'm sorry. One "grande" dog please.
@TheBoydP: I don't understand why they named it "sandpaper" when the obvious name "office toilet paper" was right there in front of them.