@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..
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@Tmoney68: [Doctor's Office] Dr: I'm not going to candy-coat this.... Me: *misses bad results of test because I'm imagining a coat made of Skittles*
@CourtneyBale: "Excuse me, do you validate parking?" I sure do, champ. *kisses your forehead* Your parking is second to none.
@lynyrdsbackyard: Mistakenly punched premium at the gas pump today and now I have to sell one of my kids to the circus.