@MehrangizC: That awkward moment when both your knees are bruised, but all you did was gardening..
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@bourgeoisalien: I'm so lazy, if I got kidnapped I’d just think, “Well, this is where I live now.”
@VeganZebra: *walks into IT department attempting to look cool* You guys torrent any emails lately?
@LackOfShame: I'm uncomfortable sharing my feelings with you but completely comfortable standing next to a complete stranger while urinating. Guys.