@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
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@Monathais: Husband and wife near wishing well. Suddenly wife slips and fell in the well. Terrified husband: Noooooooooo...I can't believe it's working!
@ThingsGoinOn: "Kids are great when you need help around the house." - People who don't have kids
@pippydrydocking: Sorry I went down on your moms sister at your BBQ... I guess you could say I'm... [lowers shades] An aunt-eater.
@jctwritesstuff: Me: I only wanted a little mayo! I can't eat this! Him: Does it matter that much? Me: Well, would you like me to stab you a little or a lot?