@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
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@caliluvgirl77: I can't have a boyfriend because my clean laundry goes on the other side of my bed.
@causticbob: My wife must be the slowest reader ever. I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.
@Rollmaninoz: my favorite part about fruit is when I run it under water for 3 seconds to convince myself it’s no longer covered in carcinogenic pesticides