@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
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@Reverend_Scott: [running away from killer] KILLER: YOU'RE GONNA TRIP ON YOUR SHOELACES THEN I'LL GET U ME: MY SHOES ARE VELCRO KILLER: NOOOOOOOOOOOO
@VeryLonelyLuke: I adopted a rock. He just sits there and does nothing all day. It still beats raising Kylo.
@slaughthie: Been getting better gas mileage since I decided to turn off my car when I'm crying alone in parking lots.