@Taryn_: That awkward moment when someone is cooking fish in the office and all the girls begin sniffing themselves.
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@laurenreeves: "911, what's your emergency?" "Hi. Long time listener, first time caller." "That's really funny." "Thank you. Anyways, I'm being stabbed."
@KKBowls: I let a Jehovahs Witness in my home, I sat him down and said, 'what do you have to tell me?' he said, 'I don't know, never made it this far'