@DanteEvilCat: That awkward moment when someone says "stop", and you don't know whether to respond with "collaborate and listen" or "hammer time."
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@goodhairperson: Her hands were garlic breadsticks of action. Her face was a Cesar salad of expression.
@ddsmidt: As I was driving, some stranger yelled "what's your problem lady?" So I was honest, I said I drink too much and I can't stop eating chips.
@Glenny_Baby: I dated a girl that wore a mood ring. When happy it would be a pretty blue colour. When she was mad it made a big oval mark on my forehead.