@DanteEvilCat: That awkward moment when someone says "stop", and you don't know whether to respond with "collaborate and listen" or "hammer time."
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@AimeeHelene1: Today there was a band-aid on my plate, a bat flew in the house, & a bee stung me. Today was brought to me by the letter B.
@rzarosco: "We should definitely let dolphins go into space instead of monkeys" said one scientist obviously not a dolphin dressed up as a scientist
@Smooheed: Standing behind a hot guy on a treadmill saying 'don't worry baby, I'll catch you if you fall' makes him run for a really really long time