@BourbonLuv: That awkward moment when the guy who discovered milk had to explain what he was doing to the cow...
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@BoogTweets: (Creating Atheists) God: Make some humans Sciencey Angel: Will they believe in you? God: No, but they'll be so surprised when we meet!
@ScottLinnen: Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness.
@bombsydoll: Problem: I hate peeing alone, sleeping, & nobody talks to me about random nonsense Solution: kids
@Reverend_Scott: I'm tired of the bad jokes, dad. Doubt you can hear me anyway. I'm pullin' the plug. "...hi pullin' the plug, I'm da-" *pulls the plug*