@clindsaysway: That awkward moment when the person who just made the elevator notices you were holding the 'close' button
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@lovstructionist: Football Team: Huddle up! Me: Mm, this is nice FT: Who are you Me: So warm, so snug FT: Break. Break now! Me: Don't go nice man-castle
@Playing_Dad: [Divorce court] Judge: The reason you're divorcing is "he's annoying?" Wife: He pronounces “yikes” like “Nike" J: Baliff, throw him in jail
@GrandadJFreeman: That walk of shame when you fail at throwing a ball of paper into the garbage.
@TheBoydP: Show me someone who says they like all types of music and I will show you someone who has never been on hold before a conference call.