@noneofyours99: That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first.
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@goldengateblond: Lady at the door asked if I'd found Jesus and I was all HOW IS HE MISSING, IT WAS YOUR DAY TO WATCH HIM. I don't think she'll be back.
@Brianhopecomedy: When I get a little tipsy I like to go to a random neighbourhood, knock on the door and say, "Sarah Connor?".
@NicestHippo: It's disturbing that when we see a man's mustache fall off we assume it's an identity theft situation and not a medical emergency