@noneofyours99: That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first.
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@HairyJew4Life: Why would you stay friends with an ex-girlfriend? When you get fired from a job, you don't stay around and watch other people do your job.
@jergarl: "Calm down" I suggested. "WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M NOT CALM?" she carved in the side of my truck.