@noneofyours99: That awkward moment when you accidently knock a 90 year old over trying to get to the buffet first.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@felixoshea: He entered the gym: eye patch on, peg leg in; he’d made his costume himself. It was a pilates class. He realised his mistake immediately.
@thecrabbyhook: My daughter wants to know when the hamster we "planted" in the garden will start growing.
@SamGrittner: I don't throw anything out anymore I just go to TGIFriday's once a month and glue more shit to the wall no one notices try it
@fro_vo: I hate snakes because they have no feet. You could say I'm... lacktoes intolerant *opens another beer*