@faizziy: That awkward moment when you die, and all you were trying to do was take a selfie with a lion on a jungle safari..
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@SondraDeeMe: I was told my $750 iPhone would improve the quality of my phone calls, but my family keeps calling telling me the same shit.
@LinajkReturns: So much mascara her eyes got stuck in the closed position. Too bad lipstick doesn't work that way.
@StarWarsProblms: *primitive gungans defeat battle droids* *Stone Age ewoks beat elite stormtroopers* *improbable underdog story defeats logic and reason*
@goulden_eye: Energizer bunny arrested. Charged with battery. LOL just kidding it was double homicide.