@WheelTod: That awkward moment when you lazily follow someone cos of 1 funny joke, then realize all the rest of their stuff is KKK recruitment material
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@blade_funner: [the invention of ping pong] "I don't want this tiny ball." "Well, neither do I." "That makes me very angry." "Me too."
@shutupmikeginn: A fun prank is to search "buy antique dolls" on someone's computer because then all their Facebook targeted ads are creepy dolls forever
@yeetztweetz: *watches precisely one documentary* hello, everyone. i am here to talk about the Oklahoma City bombing which happened in 1995. please pull out your notepad and pen and i will begin my seminar shortly
@poutinesmoothie: Lactose intolerant means you shouldn't eat dairy products. Lack Toast & Tolerant means you don't have any toast and you're okay with it.