@MrNickNo: That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you're innocent".
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@ddsmidt: Meltdowns are what happens when you compartmentalize your thoughts, but forget to label them.
@livingnBoston: NORAD tracking Santa? Really? That's what my tax dollars are going to? You're tracking a fictitious fat dude?
@astutenewf: Her:How long before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?" Dr.:No one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.
@librarianfonz: Google won't replace librarians. The internet is like giving someone a fire hose when all they asked for was a glass of water.