@ClaytonSykes: That awkward moment when you realize you were born roughly nine months after 4/20.
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@iwearaonesie: "This is why I hate fancy restaurants, I can never pronounce anything on the menu" -me, drunk, holding the Waffle House menu upside down
@ThaJawn: Interviewer: You're hired.. Me: Thank you so much! You won't live to regret this.. Interviewer: What? Me: huh?