@Tommytoughstuff: That awkward moment when you run into your old pizza guy and you're with your new much younger pizza guy.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Vodkantots: "And what will you do if you're crowned Miss Universe?" "I will have a special prosecutor put the first runner up in jail."
@briancthayer: [house hunting] Friend: *hurls spear into vinyl siding* GOT ONE! Me: *hacking at brick siding w/ sword* GET OVER HERE AND HELP ME!