@LogicLaughs: That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror.
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@Donna_McCoy: Sorry, I can't be around you today. The temptation to smack you in the face is just too great.
@jessokfine: I'm like the lemon seed that sinks to the bottom of your water glass and then shoots up your straw unexpectedly, trying to choke you.
@SteveSuckington: My niece thinks she's more mature than me because she listens to Beethoven. His movies sucked plus why would I wanna listen to dog music?
@meganamram: Ten out of one women is a Russian Nesting Doll
@hippieswordfish: CARTOON VILLAIN: how did you know it was me who robbed the bank COP: you were literally carrying around giant bags with dollar signs on them
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