@LogicLaughs: That awkward moment you have long eye contact with someone who's really attractive, only cause it's too hard to walk away from the mirror.
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@lemonmartinis: 9yr old poured milk on the cat. When I asked why he said "He's thirsty and likes to lick himself." I couldn't argue with that.
@Alex_N_Chains: The ironic thing about the original Scooby Doo adventures was that the only real supernatural phenomena they encountered was a TALKING DOG.
@Reel2Dialog2: The Lion King is my favorite movie about how having a karate wielding monkey can completely change your life.
@shawnspree: Wife: Why do I have a temperature of 101.3? Me: Maybe you're pregnant? Wife: What's wrong with you? *damn you webMD, damn you.
@bellicosejason: I'm going to the hospital tomorrow...not because I'm sick, but because they have free pudding if you're fast enough.
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