@WayneL_Jr: That Chief Keef album hypnotized me earlier. I didn't even realize I was stealing from my mama purse until she paused my music.
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@Carbosly: You say "save the date", I hear "more time to come up with an excuse of why I'm not going."
@OfficialMizGin: My parties got a hundred times better when I realized if I didn’t invite anybody I could eat all the snacks.
@flashember: [Giraffe Weatherman] "Yes Bob, we have a major blizzard happening up here but *giraffe lowers head* on the ground we're still looking good."
@AmishPornStar1: *gently releases can of tuna into the ocean* Go ahead, Little Buddy! You can do this!!!