@PanicRestroom: That girl from The Exorcist was a real head turner
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@sageboggs: I hate self-promotional people. They're so into themselves they probably don't even realize I have a new album available on iTunes now
@Slygirl08: *Really attractive person waves at me in their car*-*I wave back enthusiastically*-*realizes they were just putting their visor down*
@BriarSlyMadness: Believing that you are popular or "famous" on twitter... ...is like believing you are rich because you won a game of Monopoly.
@Sarcasticsapien: People in love use phrases like "takes my breath away" and "swept me off my feet". I think they're confusing love with attempted murder.