@badbanana: That guy who ran through the White House could go to prison for ten years, so there's another reason I don't run.
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@Jenny4ashley: I love the compliments my boss gives like "wow you're on time today" and "great job ignoring dress code again".
@BuckyIsotope: I'll always remember what my dad told me right before he died: "of course you're supposed to use that much lighter fluid idiot."
@Dutch_50: Seems I can never find good brussels sprouts at the store, so I decided to grow them myself. Turns out I don't like brussels sprouts.
@courtneyno: The light above my desk is going out. I feel like I've been at a really boring rave for the last 7 hours.