@TimHaynesJr: That heroic moment where one of your chips break off in the dip and you send another one into save it.
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@shutupmikeginn: Using the domino's pizza tracker app seems like a great way to carjack someone you know isn't going to put up that much of a fight
@KeetPotato: [tv commercial] me: "know what i'd love for breakfast?" mum: "what's that son?" me: "if someone pre-chewed my food" narrator: "porridge"
@skullmandible: when I played the Sims if a sim got hungry/tired I'd just delete them and replace them with a copy who was content so maybe no kids for me
@PastorBate: Dear diary, Sometimes it just seems like I can't tell if something is an inanimate object or a person My therapist: Yes that's quite clear