@TheGabbieShow: that horrifying moment when a kid asks u to help find his mom bc he was always told if he was lost to ask a grownup & u realize ur a grownup
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@AbbyHasIssues: 1. Get in hammock. 2. Relax. 3. Try and get out of hammock. 4. Panic. 5. Don't fight it and just accept that this is where you live now.
@QwertyJones3: My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of "cumin".
@thesulk: My stomach just made the sound of a 68-year-old Long Island woman seeing her granddaughter for the first time.
@junejuly12: With sufficient velocity, any object can be an effective weapon. Unfortunately this kitten is not cooperating.