@jazmasta: That hot guy you see on the train every day with headphones on? Imagine....imagine if he was listening to a podcast. Not so hot now is he?
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@DamienFahey: About to check Facebook? Let me save you some time. One of your friends has updated their cover photo to a picture of the beach.
@Kyle_Lippert: Nicki Minaj washes off her Halloween make up to reveal Lady Gaga who washes her face to reveal Madonna who washes her face to reveal an Emu.
@mattgallo123: House arrest? You mean permission to excuse myself from social interaction? Oh no, judge. Please don't.
@mikeleffingwell: Every boy band song should have a part where they realize they're singing about the same girl & get mad at each other.