@JustCallMeC_: "That looks interesting. I think I'll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
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@Lance_Said_This: What sucks about those little hotel shampoo bottles is there's no room for the directions so you kind of have to wing it.
@sarcasticmommy4: My kids have strategically placed items in an overflowing garbage can like they're building a Jenga puzzle. Have kids. It's fun.
@mrjohndarby: [waking up on sunday morning] me: ugh, I can't believe what I did last night *looks around to see piles of perfectly folded laundry*
@F5X11: I send flowers "From Steve" to my neighbors wife every Friday night, then watch them fight from my living room window while eating popcorn