@JustCallMeC_: "That looks interesting. I think I'll eat it." - Sharks and Toddlers
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@freypalm: My dad: See, when you said you'd met a "special someone" we thought… Me: Go on. My dad: Me: [taking hold of the penguin's flipper] GO ON.
@Brohamulet: Toilet paper has a lot of other uses! Your baby? Boom. It's a mummy. Your dog? Boom. Mummydog. This lamp? Boom. Your living room is on fire.
@Anon_imosity: I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should've seen her face light up when she opened it