@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
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@Tierno158: CNN reports Hurricane Patricia "hit luxury resorts and impoverished villages with equal ferocity." Did they expect wealth-based discernment?
@murrman5: "Behold, a 3 headed cat" "um, its just 3 cats taped together" "Behold, a 12 legg...*tape rips, one cat runs away*..errr 8 legged cat."
@losdrogas: went to kiss a girl last night and her eyes rolled back and her head floated off her shoulders body burst into flames i am a bad kisser