@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@ckretmsage: I started to keep a notepad beside the bed so that I can write down tweets at night, so far I have: Really shitty handwriting in the dark.
@Rebecca8672: Awkward=when autocorrect changes 'sooner' to 'sober' so email to 8 yr. old's teacher reads "I apologize for not getting back to you sober"
@daemonic3: Mr. Trump, what will you do as President? TRUMP: I'll outlaw shredded cheese and only sell blocks Why? TRUMP: To make America grate again
@jimmytorosian: Simon: I wrote a song Garfunkel: *reads lyrics* Garfunkel: "I am a rock. I am an island" dude I'm like right here. I thought we were friends