@heymonroe: That moment of panic when you accidentally swipe left on Bae while getting food off your phone.
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@Dawn_M_: Twitter should give you 5,000 followers when you start and then you have to try and lose them.
@ohheyohhihello: BELLHOP: May I take care of your bags? ME: Of course! BELLHOP: [gently applies seven layers of concealer under my eyes]
@NervousJr: People who think only god can judge them have obviously never hung out with my friends.