@nettie0918: That moment the school calls because 15 was caught drinking at school and it's still the same principal that had to call your parents.
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@birbigs: "You're joking about calling it Good Friday, right? I told you the part about the nails?" -Jesus
@Scarfolk: Join us in calling for a total ban of people. They are extremely dangerous. If you know any people, report them at once to the authorities.
@bourgeoisalien: [robber breaks into my house] i always knew you'd come for me, my darling. where are you going