@joshbupkes: that moment when football players come out of the locker room and realize they're all wearing the same thing again
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@Bexdora: INTERVIEWER: It says here you can communicate telepathically? ME: IN: Is this an ability you have always had? ME: IN: Please say something.
@withanewname: "Yes mam that'll be $1200" "Just to remove a cassette tape that's stuck?" "Ma'm, it's in your CD player"
@PinkLipschitz: Had a dream that someone was gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper. Woke up to find my cat gently rubbing my forehead with sandpaper.