@Jesus_M_Christ: That moment when you mom says she was a virgin, but then 3 random dudes show up on your birthday with gifts.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@joejwest: [on Mars] ASTRONAUT: An alien! MISSION CONTROL: Ok, so A: I choke slammed it MC: What? A: Another one! MC: DO NOT CH A: [choke slam noises]
@UncleDuke1969: Wife: You were right. Me: Say it again. Wife: You were right. Me: Again. Wife: You were right. Me: One more time. Wife: You wer- *wakes up*
@rolldiggity: A fun gym game is to drag your treadmill behind someone else's, and then run with a determined glare while holding a bat.
@zachreinert03: My friends holds her breath driving past cemeteries cause of superstition but I thought she just didn't want to be cocky about breathing