@LilFlaOrange30: That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean.
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@lovemydogduck: My car lease is up and I have to return it back to the dealer today, so I'm practicing jumping out of a moving car.
@JennyJohnsonHi5: My mom (seriously) asked if my friend's brother "still had down syndrome." No mother, he walked it off.