@LilFlaOrange30: That moment when you're driving and tweeting and you look up and notice you're in the Atlantic Ocean.
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@david8hughes: [hears baby crying in the next room] "It's ok, I'll go." [gets in car & goes to a motel]
@_davidlucas_: Leviticus 20:13 legalises gay marriage and marijuana: "If a man lays with another man he should be stoned".
@Underchilde: When couples tell me they're taking their relationship to the next level, I just assume they’re gonna start throwing cutlery at each other.
@neerjagurnani: Got paired with a classmate for a Criminal law Project, so I guess now we're partners in crime.