@ShawnIzadi: That moment you could pass as an Olympic speed walker because you are racing to the bathroom.
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@NottaBigDeal: I was listening to my wife argue with our 5 y/o. I didn't want to tell her he was right so karate chopped the TV to create a diversion.
@FatherWithTwins: Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn't do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
@panmidwest: [end of long conversation] HER: let me give you my number ME: great! [forgot name] how do you spell your name? HER: ME: HER: k-i-m ME: