@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
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@SaraMansford: Netflix: Want to keep watching? Me: Do we really need to do this? Netflix: It's just, it's been 75 hours and I can hear your kids crying.
@mexinonblonde: You're a big fat liar! And I don't believe anything you say! See if I get naked for you again!! -Me to my scale as I step off of it
@schumoo: Just tell me how many calories are in the entire package and save me the trouble of doing all the multiplication.