@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
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@Jenn_H_Scott: 7yo: Why can't I have coffee? Me: It'll make u even more energetic than u already are 7: But u drink it all the time& u never have energy!
@canadasandra: We got about 5-6 inches of snow here in the last 24 hrs, or, according to men, we got 8 inches.
@Kim_pulsive: There is no way to differentiate between the screams you hear from mass murder, passengers on a plane going down and 5 Tweens seeing a bug
@AlanFelyk: Saw a woman on a dating site who says she’s looking for God. I’m thinking she’s not His type.