@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
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@breadzeppellin: Damn girl are you Schrodinger's cat cos you're in a box and all these nerds are talking about you? Sir have some respect this is a funeral.
@EndhooS: "Asphyxiate' would be worth like a million points..." I thought to myself as I lay choking on a Scrabble tile.
@theshamingofjay: A threesome? Nah not for me. If I wanted to horribly disappoint two other people I'd go out to dinner with my parents
@13spencer: I'd like to think that my exes see me as "the one who got away," but it's probably more like "the one who got away from the police."