@trevso_electric: That one onion ring didn't end up in your french fries by accident. That's Burger King's way of flirting with you.
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@TheBeerGuy73: Every few weeks I login to Facebook, update my birthday to the current day, and those idiots wish me happy birthday every time.
@jergarl: The Wizard of Oz is my favorite children's book that teaches us that it's ok to steal shoes from someone as long as they're dead.