@Donnie_Fairburn: That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself
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@david8hughes: [meeting aboard the ISS space station] Capt: all personnel are-David sit down please Me trying to open a window cos it's stuffy: in a minute
@Tw1tter_K1tten: It's weird that on this date in Back to the Future they didn't show people incessantly posting about Back to the Future.
@InternetHippo: LUCY: Dad, how did I get my name? [flashback] ME (signing contract in blood): Ok but can we at least shorten it? LUCIFER: That's fine
@trevso_electric: If you receive a text from Liam Neeson that says "LMAO," it stands for "let's murder Albanians overseas" and he wants his daughter back.