@Donnie_Fairburn: That prank where you roll the windows down as you go through a carwash so your friends get soaked isn't as funny when you do it by yourself
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@KentWGraham: Can you imagine the reaction 20 years ago if you showed people a photo album filled with pictures you took of yourself in the bathroom?
@click4amanda: War vets with prosthetic limbs are running marathons and I'm busy trying to lasso the tv remote with my phone charger cord.
@fillthevacuum: Got out of the car and dropped my keys in the gutter. They landed next to my mind, which I thought I'd lost.