@matt_simpson84: That scene from Jurassic Park where the T-Rex is breathing heavily up against the jeep glass, except its me at the hotdog display in 7/11
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@OldSpookMan: A homeless guy asked me "would you give me $5 for a sandwich?" I said "I don't know man, show me the sandwich first."
@michaelianblack: Probably not a coincidence that Taylor Swift just spent $17M on a mansion only two states away from me.
@Lipgloss_Nerd: Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train.