@RobElliottComic: That show Scrubs is bullshit. Not one person in this hospital joined in my song and dance number.
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@jrza84: Actually told a girl who's moving to France soon that "there's lots of French people over there". It's a wonder how I can even bathe myself.
@brynnester: My wife likes to make love with Barry Manilow in the background. It's as awkward for him as it is for me
@stevevsninjas: Fox: Winter is here. We need a plan to survive. Bear: I have a great idea! We just sleep until spring. Goose: Wanna hear migrate idea?
@Storminika: During labour, nurse came up to me & said, 'How about Epidural Anesthesia?' I was like, 'Thanks, but I already picked a name.