@PJTLynch: That sinking feeling when you realize you forgot to lock your clubhouse when you were 8, and it's probably all infested now with girls
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@MableGertrude: I'm not saying you're on twitter too much, but your six-year-old is running an arms trade with the Mexican drug cartel out of his tree fort.
@JeannieG40: Relationship status: Sitting in Home Depot parking lot, car hood open, and asking men if they can jump me.
@paulrobalino: Girl, is your dad Louis Vuitton? Because you have such big bags under your eyes. Wait am I doing this right