@longwall26: That toddler on a leash at the mall might be an unstoppable killing machine. You really don't know.
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@ObscureGent: Mother in law just said global warming with air quotes. It's going to be a long night.
@thenatewolf: Salesman: first time buying a motorcycle? Me: that obvious? Salesman: nobody asks "how loud is the vroom?" they ask "what's the vroomage?"
@cwhudson: [Olive Garden] PATRON: there are so many types of pasta WAITER: [required to say this] yes...*clenches teeth* the pastabilities are endless
@bridger_w: In movies, do actors wear costume underwear? Or underwear from home? The whole thing is confusing. I don't think I can keep watching movies