@longwall26: That toddler on a leash at the mall might be an unstoppable killing machine. You really don't know.
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@joejwest: ME: [leaning over toilet] Hold back my hair YOU: Ok ME: [drinks from toilet like dog] YOU: You've made your point I'll wash up some glasses
@murrman5: if you come out with us you can't lie about making your own soup "those days are behind me" [girl at bar 45 mins later] oh cool, what kind?
@Stellacopter: [at heaven's gate] God: Tell me why I should let u in Me: I've never made anyone look at my baby's ultrasound pic God: You can have my bed