@longwall26: That toddler on a leash at the mall might be an unstoppable killing machine. You really don't know.
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@TheWadest: Me: *unfreezes cro-magnon woman I uncover on an arctic expedition* Cro-magnon woman: "I have a boyfriend."
@beckyiniowa: If the head of CIA can't even hide his own affair it's pretty safe to say there were no aliens at Roswell and we really went to the moon.
@travisauruss: Blood is thicker than water. But maple syrup is thicker than blood. So pancakes are more important than family. I said it.
@seanyeatts: Growing up means you start to find it creepy that your dad's pet name for your mom is "Squirty"