@GrandadJFreeman: That walk of shame when you fail at throwing a ball of paper into the garbage.
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@JB4Realz: [PHONE] "TSA, How can I help you?" Me: "Why did you guys put my frog on the No-Fly List?!" Agent: "Umm..." Me: "DAMMIT, HE'S STARVING!"
@Topher_Writes: It's a bird. It's a plane. No its... "Steve, you're fired. Air traffic control just isn't for you."
@Kendragarden: I said "Margarita" 3 times in the mirror instead of "Bloody Mary" and now a ghost mariachi band is forcing me to play maracas for them.